Who Wants to...Revolutionize a Million Dollars?
by KillTenchi
Summary: I know...I know! It's been done. Get over it. Nobody can write weird Utena fics like ME! Hahahahahahahaha!!! >:)


Disclaimer: Okay I have a whole list of things to disclaim in this so here goes:  
#1. I do not, no matter what you have heard to the contrary, own Regis Philbin.  
#2. As stated in previous related fics, I don't own any part of Revolutionary Girl Utena...except for Touga and anyone caught trying to say otherwise will be delt with swiftly and ruthlessly.  
#3. I wouldn't WANT to own Britney Spears even if someone was trying to GIVE her away.  
#4. I don't own the concept of this fic...other people have written "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" parodies about other animes before (and, quite possibly there have been some written about THIS anime...but check out the GW one and the Tenchi one...they're quite enjoyable if you go in for that sort of thing)  
#5. I am a BIG Utena fan....however, I am writing this on the spur of the moment and so if I spell some names incorrectly DON'T WIG OUT ON ME! Also be aware of my knack for knocking characters....er....out of character.....  
I think that's all I need to disclaim, but I might be wrong so.........finally:  
#6. I disclaim this story....anything in it that you have a problem with....well hey, don't look at me!  
  
  
  
Author's note: You know....if I didn't know me better....I would think I've been smokin' a LOT of crack....  
  
  
  
"WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?"  
  
  
:::the usual theme music plays, credits etcetera...finally Regis walks out from apparently nowhere like some sort of Sesame Street puppet::::  
  
Regis: Hello there and welcome to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" We're lucky to have some very interesting....uh....characters....on our show tonight, why don't we meet our hopefuls?  
  
::::as each player is introduced the camera pans to them sitting at there little station thingies::::  
  
Regis: From Ohtori Academy....Akio Ohtori! :::Akio winks and mouths 'I love you' to the camera while smiling seductively:::::  
  
Regis: :::looks at Akio fearfully:::: riiight....um to continue......also from Ohtori Academy....Miki Kaoru! :::Miki smiles cutely and waves like a frickin' five year old:::  
  
Regis: Um....okay....ALSO from Ohtori Academy.....Kyuichi Saionji! :::Saionji doesn't notice his name called because he is busy writing in a book....suddenly however he realizes it is awful quiet in the studio and looks up to see everyone staring at him::::  
  
Saionji: WHAT????!!!! ::::quickly hides the book in his shirt::::::  
  
Regis: Whatever....hey! we're just here to play right? Four more contestants to go....let's see who they are! :::suddenly looks exhasperated:::: JESUS! ALSO from Ohtori Academy.....Juri Arisugawa..... :::Juri is sitting with her arms crossed as though this is the lamest thing she's ever done....however we know her better than THAT:::::  
  
Regis: ::::doesn't even look shocked anymore:::: Also from Ohtori Academy.....Touga Kiryuu. :::Touga just sits there drinking an iced beverage while looking damn sexy::::  
  
Regis: How come he has something to drink and I don't? I'm the host and I am thirsty and no one has brought me anything to drink....::::yells backstage:::: Bring ME a drink! I'm REGIS PHILBIN for GODSAKES!  
  
:::quickly a young broadcasting intern comes running up to him with an iced drink in her hand...however, halfway to the host of the show she sees Touga looking cool and collected and giving her an appreciative look. Before she even realizes what she's doing she is at his side serving HIM Regis' drink and asking him for his phone number:::::  
  
Regis: What the- Oh WHATEVER!! :::looks at a card in his hand::: Just two more contestants......just TWO more to announce and then we can play! Alright....from the Supposedly Haunted Dorm Where No One Lives Except For Her And A Strange Brown Skinned Girl With A Strange Pet.....Utena Tenjou!   
  
::: Utena smiles and waves with her usual cheeriness, but it appears that she is not alone at her little station thingie....Anthy Himemiya is sitting demurely at her side with her eyes on the floor:::::  
  
Regis: Well! This is against the rules! This isn't a couples tournament....and even if it was we wouldn't have any "alternative lifestyle" couples....this is a family show! One of you has to go!  
  
::::Regis is about to have Utena thrown out when Touga stands up importantly....all the women in the audience swoon::::  
  
Touga: :::in that sultry, nonchalant, playboy way:::: Anthy is Utena's Bride....where Utena goes, the Bride goes. As decreed by Ends of the World. I see no harm in allowing the Bride to sit in on the game, she'll be no help to anyone...  
  
:::the rest of the contestants nod their agreement, except for Saionji who is staring at Anthy with big, bulgy eyes as he writes furiously in his little book....Touga flips his hair and makes all the women sigh before sitting down with a flourish::::  
  
Regis: This is so odd...I've never had a game start out quite like this before....anyway....it looks like we have one more contestant....from the sticks of Louisiana.....Britney Spears!  
  
:::silence falls on the whole audience as Britney begins bouncing up and down in her chair and waving her arms at the audience::::  
  
Regis: Um....Miss Spears....can i ask you why you're here tonight? Celebrity Millionaire isn't until next week....  
  
Britney: :::in an obnoxiously put on southern accent:::: Oh I know Regis, but I'm going in for more implants- er - I mean nosejob - ooops! - what I meant to say was I'm busy next week so I came early. Ya'll don't mind do you? ::::Britney smiles, showing off all her caps in the process....the rest of the contestants shrug except for Akio who scoots his chair closer to Britney::::  
  
Regis: :::sighing heavily::: Okay...let's get this show on the road....  
  
Britney: Oh I LOVE going on the road! Touring is great! What kind of bus do you have Regis?   
  
Regis: I don't have a bus....we're not GOING on the road....it was an expression...I just meant I wanted to start the first fastest finger question....  
  
:::Britney looks sort of disappointed::::  
  
Akio: :::leaning over to whisper in Britney's ear:::: I have a car....  
  
Regis: ANYWAY :::looking at Akio sternly:::: the first fastest finger question IS:  
  
****Put these vegetables in order starting with the most meaningless:  
  
A.) Brocolli  
B.) Brussell Sprouts  
C.) Parsley  
D.) Snap Peas  
  
Regis: Now let's see who had the fastest finger.......it was....Miki Kaoru! Come on up and into the Hot Seat! It's time to play "Who Wants to be a Millionaire!"  
  
:::Miki giggles with glee as he sits down in the infamous 'hot seat'::::  
  
Miki: :::checking his stopwatch::: Five minutes, fifteen seconds before I got into the hotseat! That's a record!  
  
Regis: :::settling in across from Miki:::: Yeah, okay, whatever kid....soooooooooo...Miki....in the hot seat....tell us a little about yourself.....who did you bring to the show with you tonight?   
  
Miki: :::looking sort of embarrassed:::: I brought......my sister.....Kozue.....  
  
Regis: Kozue, huh? Let's pan out to the audience and talk to her, how about it?  
  
::::the camera sweeps the audience, but the seat normally reserved for family members is empty:::::  
  
Miki: :::looking stunned::: What....? Where is she? She promised she'd be here!  
  
Regis: :::looks unconcerned::: Oh well, on with the game...let's get to the first question Miki....Here it is, for one hundred dollars:  
  
***Which of these animals is not a sheep?  
  
A.) a sheep  
B.) a sheep  
C.) a sheep  
D.) a goose  
  
:::the camera turns to Miki who is sweating profusely and looking rather nervous....in the background you can hear the other contestants trying to give Miki hints by shouting 'D!' but he seems unable to hear them.....::::::  
  
Miki: :::pulling at his hair::: you don't understand....Kozue was SUPPOSED to be here....without her, everyone will know that I am really a MORON who doesn't know ANYTHING! I am so ASHAMED! :::Miki breaks down sobbing and quickly runs away crying about never being able to show his face in public again:::  
  
Regis: :::calling to him back stage:::: Is that your final answer then?  
  
:::the audience is once again stunned into silence while Regis tries to keep a happy face:::  
  
Regis: Alright then, the next fastest finger question is:  
  
***Put these things in order of importance:  
  
A.)Power  
B.)Power  
C.)Power  
D.)Power  
  
Regis: And it looks like the winner of this fastest finger question is.....Akio Ohtori! Come on up to the hot seat Akio!  
  
:::Akio is too busy passing love notes back and forth to Touga to notice that he won the fastest finger, when he does finally get it he smiles evilly and a gets up to go to the hot seat::::  
  
Regis: :::once again getting in his chair:::: Hello Akio.  
  
Akio: Hello Regis....   
  
Regis: :::a little uncomfortable because Akio is staring at him in such a weird way::: So....uh...you're the dean of the infamous Ohtori Academy, huh? What's that like?  
  
Akio: :::ignoring his question::: You know Regis, I am really impressed with people who hold posistions of power....such as yourself. A man as powerful as you are must have quite the....life. What do you say you and I discuss power in my office one day this week?   
  
Regis: :::shifting in his chair nervously::: Um...I don't think so.....So what's it like being the dean of Ohtori Academy?  
  
Akio: I could make it worth your while....  
  
Regis: No. Now answer the question....  
  
Akio: Don't you find me irresistably attractive?  
  
Regis: NO.  
  
Akio: I have a car.....  
  
Regis: NO! NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!  
  
Akio: Is that your final answer?  
  
Regis: Yes!  
  
Akio: Being the dean is okay.  
  
Regis: :::looking to be glad that THAT part of the conversation is over::: Okay why don't we dive right into the first question? For one hundred dollars....here it is.......:  
  
***When did Mullets go out of fashion?  
A.)In the 80s  
B.)In the 90s  
C.)What's a mullet?  
D.)Mullets look good on anyone, as long as that person is powerful.  
  
Akio: I believe the answer to be 'D', Regis....  
  
Regis: Final answer?  
  
Akio: Sure is.  
  
Regis: And for a hundred dollars you are right!! :::Regis smiles at Akio, but when he smiles back in a sort of sexy way Regis looks at the audience instead:::  
  
Akio: You know Regis, if two great powerful men like you and I got together we could probably do anything...I wish you would reconsider....  
  
Regis: :::this time it is his turn to ignore Akio:::: Alright and on to the next question, for two hundred dollars:  
  
***Who would you NOT "manipulate" if you had the chance?  
A.) Touga  
B.) Utena  
C.) A total stranger you just met on a bus  
D.) Regis  
  
Akio: ::::thinks for a moment:::: Um...I don't believe I can answer this question....  
  
Regis: :::looking confused:::: You mean, you don't know the answer?   
  
Akio: No, it's just that I would "manipulate" anyone if I had half the chance... :::Akio winks at Regis as though implying he would like to 'manipulate' HIM right now....Regis quickly changes the subject::::  
  
Regis: Well...then I'm afraid we have no choice then to send you on your way...  
  
Akio: :::giving Regis a slutty look:::: Are you coming with me?  
  
Regis: Security!! Get this guy out of here!  
  
::::Three big, muscle bound guys (the kind you see fighting off white trash on Jerry Springer) surround Akio and begin to manhandle him out of his chair:::::  
  
Akio: :::checking out the three dudes and laughing::: Alright boys, there's plenty to go around...don't be so rough!  
  
:::as the guards haul Akio off the stage the audience giggles as he tosses Britney Spears a rose that he pulled from God knows where::::  
  
Akio: ::to Britney::: Call me!  
  
:::Britney smiles sweetly and gives him a little wave::::  
  
Regis: I can't believe I have to go on with this show....don't we screen these people before they're allowed on here? Next thing I know I'll be giving the one hundred dollar question to Unibomber! :::looks at the remaining contestants uncertainly, but then resigns himself to having to finish the game::: Okay let's try ANOTHER fastest finger question!   
***Put these movies in order of their release, starting with the earliest :  
A.) The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls In Love  
B.) Boys Don't Cry  
C.) To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar!  
D.) The Birdcage  
  
Regis: And it looks like the winner of THIS fastest finger question IS......JURI ARISUGAWA !!  
  
:::Juri looks around suspiciously as she walks to the hot seat, all the time clutching her locket as though afraid someone might try to look inside it::::  
  
Regis: :::now sitting across from Juri::: So....Juri....I hope you're going to fare better than our last couple of contestants up here....I'm starting to think that if we ever get to the One Thousand Dollar question it will be a miracle!  
  
Juri: :::reaches across the distance between them and slaps Regis across the face:::: Don't get too familiar...I am just here to make sure no one ELSE wins the million dollars. And you're a FOOL if you think I believe in MIRACLES! Hah! There's no such thing! ::::reaches for her locket again with a bitter look to her eyes:::  
  
Regis: :::rubs his cheek::: Did everyone just see that? She HIT me! I can't believe I am being HIT on my own show! What the HELL is your problem lady??  
  
Juri: You're THAT hurt....we haven't even begun the game yet....  
  
Regis: I'm gonna let that slapping thing slide....maybe you've had a hard day or something....but if it happens again it's on...I'll have you out on the street with Akio! Now....the one hundred dollar question IS:  
  
***What are the colors of the rainbow?  
A.) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet  
B.) black, green, fuscia, transparent yellow, brown  
C.) white, light white, dark white, off white, and semi-white  
D.) what's a rainbow?  
  
Juri: :::without hesitation:::: I'd like to use a lifeline please.  
  
Regis: :::looking surprised:::: Are you sure? On the first question? Which lifeline did you want to use?  
  
Juri: I'd like to phone a friend. Shiori...   
  
Regis: And who's Shiori?  
  
Juri: What?! What do you mean? She's no one! :::clutches her locket like a madwoman again:::: I just thought she might know the answer to this...leave me alone about it! God!  
  
Regis: Oooookay...AT&T, could you get Shiori on the phone please?  
  
::::ring ring::::  
  
Shiori: :::on the phone:::: Hello?  
  
Regis: Shiori?  
  
Shiori: Yes...  
  
Regis: This is Regis Philbin here...We've got your friend Juri in the hot seat and she needs your help answering a question...here she is.....  
  
Juri: :::suddenly looks afraid and whispers::::: No! I was wrong! I can't talk to her! Hang up! Hang up! :::waves her arm in a 'hanging up' motion to the guys back stage but they don't understand what it is she wants::::  
  
Shiori: :::still on the phone::: um....HELLO....are you there?  
  
Regis: :::giving Juri a chastizing look:::: Juri...ASK her the question....  
  
Juri: :::looks at Regis with pleading eyes::: I CAN'T! YOU ask her! Please? Don't make me talk to her!  
  
:::::behind Juri Regis can see Touga snickering to himself, Utena looking concerned, and Saionji still busily writing...just wanting to get it over with and not wanting to sit there all day Regis decides to go against the rules and read the question FOR the contestant::::  
  
Regis: Fine....Shiori are you there?  
  
Shiori: YES....sheesh...  
  
Regis: Well, I'm going to read the question to you because Juri is uh.... :::he looks at Juri who is bright red in the face at the sound of Shiori's voice::: ...busy.....are you ready?  
  
Shiori: I guess so....  
  
Regis: What are the colors of the rainbow? A.) red-  
  
Shiori: :::interrupting Regis::: What the hell is this!? I AM NOT GAY!! Being gay is gross! Did Juri put you up to asking me out again? LEAVE ME ALONE! I am straight and I sleep with five guys a night and I have no regrets about it! So STOP calling me, JURI!!! Get a LIFE! :::hangs up:::  
  
::::everyone looks at Juri who has suddenly gone very pale:::::  
  
Regis: um.....so....uh.....I guess she didn't know the answer.....what's your decision Juri?  
  
:::Regis looks toward the hotseat but Juri is gone....apparently she ran off stage at Shiori's outburst.....however, on the floor is her locket which she must have dropped in her haste to leave....it's lying open and inside is revealed a picture...of Melissa Etheridge::::  
  
Regis: :::shaking his head sadly:::: Let's just do the next fastest finger question, okay? All of today's contestants seem to be mental patients... Here it is:   
  
****Put these things in order-----  
  
:::suddenly Regis finds himself being interrupted AGAIN...this time by Saionji who has stood up and walked to the hotseat without permission:::::  
  
Regis: :::staring at Saionji dumbfoundedly (is that a word?)::::: Just what do you think you are doing?  
  
Saionji: There is no reason to give anyone else a chance to come up here...the power to win the Million Dollars belongs to ME....Kyuichi Saionji....and I WILL defeat certain ugly, stuck up, tomboy opponents who shall remain nameless :::he gives a quick evil, sort of crazy glance to Utena before continuing::: Now, begin to ask me questions.  
  
Regis: You have GOT to be kidding!  
  
::::Saionji now reaches across the gameboard and promptly bitch-slaps Regis:::::  
  
Regis: :::looking now like he wants to cry:::: What in GOD'S name is WRONG with you people? Do you always slap people if they happen to say something you don't like? JEEZ! That's NOT nice....Fine! I'll read you the damn question! For One Hundred Dollars.......  
  
:::::over the intercom comes a formidably whiny voice which drowns Regis out::::   
  
Really Whiny Disembodied Voice: Just what do you think you are doing? That's my BROTHER'S hotseat! My Brother's and his alone!   
  
:::from the ceiling rafters comes Nanami, in full Mission Impossible stance, suspended by wires and everything...she quickly descends to the floor and unharnesses herself to do that whole obnoxious hands on hips stance that she does:::::  
  
Regis: Um, young lady you aren't authorized to be here.....  
  
Nanami: :::looking unconcerned::: I REALLY don't care!  
  
Regis: ::::looking like HE wants to slap somebody:::: Well, what do you want?   
  
Nanami: :::tries to look innocent:::: Why nothing, Regis, I was really just coming to congratulate Saionji on getting into the hotseat....I was rooting for him all the way! :::bats her eyes:::: And I am happy to say that I see he is wearing the special pair of pants that I gave him before the show! :::looks at Saionji's pants which are a boogery shade of green, just like his hair:::::  
  
Saionji: :::now looking down at his pants too:::: Oh, you sent me these? I thought maybe they came from... :::quickly looks at Anthy who is only looking at Utena, of COURSE::::: somebody else.....  
  
Nanami: :::::smiles and clasps her hands together while doing that little tip toe dance she does:::: Oh look, brother! You have an iced beverage.....I wish I had one like it!  
  
::::Touga looks at his glass which has been long forgotten and hands it to Nanami nonchalantly:::::  
  
:::Nanami holds the iced drink, but suddenly feigns a trip::::  
  
Nanami: Ooooops! I spilled some form of liquid all over my special pants that Saionji is wearing....and look what's happening!  
  
:::Saionji jumps out of his chair as the liquid hits him and squeals like a little girl as his pants begin to disolve right before his eyes revealing his Days of The Week underpants, and the fact that he shaves his legs to silky smooth perfection::::  
  
Saionji: What is happening?? ::::he looks mortified as he cowers down trying to cover up his manhood from the prying, laughing eyes of the audience as well as Utena, Anthy, Touga, Nanami, and Regis who is cracking up at the sight of the word MONDAY written across Saionji's behind:::::  
  
::::after several more moments of embarassment Saionji gets desperate and decides to take off his shirt in order to fashion a makeshift loin cloth...however, in his haste he forgets about his secret journal to Anthy hidden against his chest.....it falls to the floor with a clatter and Saionji is so busy tying his shirt around his legs that he doesn't notice Nanami pick his book up:::::  
  
Nanami: ::::reading from the pages out loud:::: "My dearest Anthy, in your honor I have composed a poem....here it is my love, for you to treasure always:  
  
"I really love you  
though i treat you like a whore  
now grant me the power of revolution  
before i slap you around some more  
my heart is yours forever  
for you i would learn yoga  
and i want to be with you every minute  
or at least those that i'm not with TOUGA!"  
  
::::at this the audience errupts into laughter while Touga looks smugly satisfied at his sister's triumph...Saionji is left standing in the middle of the stage looking like he is wearing a giant diaper:::::  
  
Regis: :::stifling laughter:::: awe....that was....sweet.......  
  
Saionji: :::begins to blubber like a baby::: why does this always happen to me? why? ::::he hangs his head in defeat and sadly walks off the stage trailing a loose sleeve from his butt like a tail, so sad is he that he doesn't even remember to retrieve his book from Nanami:::::  
  
  
Nanami: :::still flipping through Saionji's book::::: Oh my God, this guy is so lame.....  
  
Regis: :::coming to his senses:::: What am I doing allowing this to go on? What has become of my beautiful game show? It used to have STRUCTURE! It used to have MEANING! People used to answer QUESTIONS! Look little girl...go sit out in the audience....and no more interferring with my show!! I have to read another fastest finger question!  
  
:::Nanami is still busily reading Saionji's journal and snickering to herself as she walks to the empty seat that was supposed to have been occupied by Kozue earlier:::::  
  
  
Regis: ::::reading another fastest finger question::::  
  
****Put these things in order starting with the most flamable:  
  
A.) pants  
B.) hearts  
C.) hairspray  
D.) Akio's bedsheets  
  
Regis: Ooooookay...and it looks like the winner of that fastest finger question was Utena Tenjou! Come on up Utena and you can bring your, uh, BRIDE with you....I guess.....though don't do any lovey dovey stuff because I hate homos...  
  
::::Utena begins to step up to the hotseat with a smug smile on her face, however, Touga stands up and reaches out to grab her hand to stop her....all the women in the audience grow extremely jealous that he is touching her::::  
  
Touga: :::looking up at Regis:::: This wasn't the way it was supposed to go....I was supposed to get that question right, NOT Utena....  
  
Regis: ::::as though speaking to a small child:::: Well....um....Touga....you DIDN'T get the question right, so Utena gets to go....that's....the rules.   
  
Utena: Exactly. It's MY turn Touga, Anthy and I are going to win the Million dollars! And with that money I am going to buy Anthy a complete personality transplant so that she can be a normal girl!  
  
Britney: :::suddenly speaking and, thus, reminding eveyone that she has yet some role to play in this strange tale (a little LotR reference....AAAAH!):::: Oh, I've had one of those...it doesn't really help......  
  
Touga: :::speaking to Utena in his 'compassionate' voice thus creating a buzz of hormone driven protectiveness in the female members of the audience as they feel his pain::: But....you are just not understanding....nothing you do for Anthy is going to help her....I mean look at her....:::everyone looks at Anthy who is standing like a manniquin next to Utena:::: She's just.....lame. I am the one who is going to win the Million dollars...it was to be me all along.   
  
Utena: :::looking confused::: So where are we going with this line of dialog?  
  
Touga: :::also looking slightly muddle-headed::: I'm not sure, but I think the author has decided I am going to challenge you to a duel....right now. Utena Tenjou, I challenge you to a duel....right now. :::throws a white carnation at her feet::::  
  
Utena: :::picking up the carnation::: um....what's this?   
  
Touga: sorry....the florist was out of white roses....:::shrugs::: so sue me.  
  
Utena: No, I wouldn't do that....but I will DUEL you! ::::grabs Anthy and does the whole falling/sword/chest/flashy light thing:::: Grant me the Power to Win a Million Dollars!!!  
  
:::Touga begins to reach for his own sword but realizes that in all the time it took to blow dry his hair this morning he must have rushed out of the house without bringing his sword!!::::  
  
Touga: Um....:::looks panicked for a moment, several women in the audience are biting their nails::::  
  
Britney: Oh wow....a sword, like, totally came out of her chest! Was that implanted there?   
  
Touga: :::making a split second decision that will send this story from the bizarre into the down-right wierd, grabs Britney right out of her seat and dips her backwards::: Grant ME the power to win the Million dollars!!! ::::Touga reaches into Britney's chest despite her cries of "Hey! We just met!" and pulls out a sword::::  
  
Utena: Ha ha! You think you can beat the power of Dios with that PLASTIC sword?  
  
Touga: :::looks down at the sword in his hand which is indeed plastic and then looks to Britney who he has dropped onto the floor::: Is NOTHING about you real??!  
  
:::suffice it to say the two duelists fight, despite his inadequate weapon, Touga holds his own and even begins to gain the upper hand::::  
  
Touga: :::as the two are face to face with swords pressed together::: So....do you know how this is supposed to end?  
  
Utena: :::slightly out of breath::: No...but I have read the other stories this girl's written and I can't say the odds are in favor of us living through this duel...I wouldn't be surprised if an anvil came out of nowhere and killed one of us any minute....  
  
Touga: :::incredulous::: than why are we still fighting? let's just leave...screw the Million dollars, screw the Rose Bride, screw REGIS! I'M going to Disney World!  
  
:::with that Touga backs away from the fight and throws down his sword...with a look of defiance he rips his rose off of his chest and throws it into the auidence where pandimonious chaos insues as several middle aged women proceed to have a brawl over the flower:::::  
  
Touga: I'm leaving.  
  
Utena: :::looking at her own sword, and thinking about all the other stupid stories I have written about her::: You know what....me too! Goodbye Anthy, call me if you ever get a life!   
  
:::Touga and Utena leave the stage hand in hand as the audience boos, cries, and threatens death to Utena at Touga's departure...Regis helps Britney Spears to her feet as the two anime characters leave...He shakes his head sadly and mumbles something about wanting to die::::  
  
:::suddenly a broom closet off to the right of the stage opens up and Kozue emerges, buttoning up her blouse, followed by some random dude from the audience who has his own shirt open:::::  
  
Kozue: :::looking around:::: I didn't miss anything, did I? 


End file.
